Self Improvement: Destiny or Journey?

Self Improvement: Destiny or Journey?

By Eldon Taylor

Tip! Your journey should open your eyes to the infinite shades, hues and intensities of colour that make up the world in which we live: you'll take the shadow puppet theatre world and transform it into the digital cinema technology we have today.

How high is up?

Have you ever asked yourself, "Just how high is up?" or
"Just how successful is successful?" or "Just how good is
good?" Have you ever thought about the different "Yous"
within yourself? Most of us have, at sometime, considered
our own path to personal growth and desired to improve
upon improvement.

There is a simple, yet powerful, way to evaluate many
personal characteristics and thereby gain additional access
to who we are and what we truly wish to be. If life is
essentially a school, which I believe it is, then we not only
have our course work cut out for us but our objective for
which our "learnings" specifically prepare us. Get a piece of
paper and try this little exercise.

First, write down all of your strengths, all of those
characteristics about yourself that are good. Begin with the
obvious, perhaps you're very honest, or friendly, or
cooperative and so forth. After you have completed this list,
write down some characteristics that you would like to
improve. Perhaps you wish to overcome some fear or stop
being jealous, or end gossiping or release anger and so
forth. So, you'd like to be more courageous or more
accepting and trusting, or more confident and so forth. Now,
with both of these lists completed, think about yourself as
having four inner aspects (IA) of the same you.

Tip! To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks.

The first IA is your actual self--who you are, what you do, etc.
The second IA is your concept of an ideal-self. The ideal-self
for most of us is just that, an ideal�but usually too ideal to
be realistic. "Under no circumstances will I ever become
angry," may be one such ideal. Okay, the third IA is the
ought-self. The ought-self is that collection of things typically
foisted upon each of us during maturation. The collection of
"you ought to do this" and "you ought to do that" statements
we all have heard particularly from our parents and family
members. Last, but not least, is our desired-self. The
desired-self is attainable, not so ideal as to be impractical
as a goal. With these four IA's, take another sheet of paper
and write down characteristics that apply pressure to how
you feel about yourself, positive or negative, under each IA
heading. That is, use a separate column or sheet of paper
to list the items (including feelings) that you may have about
each category. When you're done, compare the categories.

Tip! Learning from mistakes and problems is important aspect of self improvement and personal growth. This gives us the strength, experience and the wisdom that allows us to make better choices and achieve greater success in the future.

The question, "How high is up" has no answer unless there
is some reasonable estimate as to the ceiling. Personal
improvement is much the same. Self-examination can
assist all of us in obtaining reasonable goals and that can
provide at least some clear steps on the way to our ceiling.

Fantasizing your way to your goals.

I related the research that showed one could obtain the
same gains from imaging exercise as from exercising in a
study I reported upon in my Wellness book (which is free to
download in our e-book library at www.innertalk.com))
where basketball players improved their free throw shots as
much by practicing mentally as the group that shot free
throws everyday of the thirty day study. Current research
tends to suggest that the scripts we fantasize, that is, our
daydreams, rehearse our worldview and in that sense
predispose our experience. Repeating themes such as
those around "getting even" and/or emerging victorious at
someone's expense, probably tend to create scenarios in
many peoples lives that may lead to violence, anger, and so
forth. In short, our mental daydreams may become
rehearsed scripts seeking an opportunity to be played out.

Tip! Just being aware of the incredible capabilities of our subconscious minds can help our self improvement � if we decide to pay attention to our hunches and intuition and act on them.

By contrast to the above scenario, whenever I have spoken
to a successful person, a champion athlete, or anyone else
truly at the top of what they do, they have informed me
repeatedly and universally that their daydreams were about
their success. You can choose what to daydream about and
you can end a daydream if it's not something you want
rehearsed and thereby a part of you.

Tip! If you base what you do on inaccurate information, you might be unpleasantly surprised by the consequences.

Knowing this, it is incumbent upon each of us to think about
the goals we wish to achieve. Look back at your lists, and
set up a day-dream that is truly self-serving�one that
rehearses your success and achievement according to your
goals�your highest best.

To your best and thanks for the read,
Eldon

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D. is the author of over 200 books and self improvement programs. He is a Diplomat in the American Psychotherapy Association and received the 2005 International Peace Prize for his work in teaching self responsibility (http://www.innertalk.com/eldon/index.html). Tip! You can be certain that little will ever be achieved without action � sustained, determined and committed action.